


We're Not Broken, Just Bent (And We Can Learn to Love Again)

by Lilsciencequeen



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Blood and Gore, F/M, First Kiss, Post-Season/Series 02 Finale, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 03:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6178852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilsciencequeen/pseuds/Lilsciencequeen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What had happened was horrible, there was no denying that, but Fitz wasn't going to let that stop him, change his opinions of her, for there was nothing that could stop him from loving her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We're Not Broken, Just Bent (And We Can Learn to Love Again)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lettertoelise](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lettertoelise/gifts).



> So this is a gift to lettertoelise who gifted me [ this ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5642635) as a prequel to [ this ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5340089) which I recommend because they are amazing pieces of work so this is just a little thank you, I hope that you enjoy this.  
> This takes places after season two, and disregards season three, so no Will, and there are mentions of panic attacks in this.

She was in his room with him, her head bowed, not speaking. She was sat on the chair beside his desk while he knelt in front of her, a bowl of warm water beside him.

“Jems,” his voice cut through the silence that had begun to fill the room. She didn’t look up, she just continued to keep her eyes anywhere but him. It was her hands. That was what she was looking at. Her hands. At the red that had coated them. “Jems,” his voice came again, sharp and clear. She finally looked up, her eyes meeting his. They were sad, full of sorrow and pain and guilt. It pained him to no end, to see her in pain like this, to see her suffer like this. “I’m going to clean them, okay?” he asked, not wanting to do anything without her permission. She was still, silent for a few moments before she gave a slight nod of her head.

He smiled up at her, dipping the cloth in the water before taking her right hand in it, taking away the layer of blood that had been there for a number of hours now. It had taken him that length of time to calm her down, and to convince the team that she wasn’t dangerous. But they didn’t believe him, they were now convinced that she was dangerous. Fitz, however, thought otherwise. He said that it wasn’t her fault. She hadn’t wanted to have been taken by the Monolith, she hadn’t wanted to be changed, made a weapon against the Inhumans but all that had happened, she had been taken by the Monolith, she had been changed, made a weapon against the Inhumans.

Fitz rinsed out the rag, her right hand now free of the blood, the red no longer staining her flesh but now staining the water. He took her left hand, wiping the top of it. There wasn’t as much blood on this, something that he was thankful for. It didn’t take him long, another thing of which he was thankful and when he was finished, he stood, leaving the bloodied rag on the desk, now useless. He gave her another smile but there was a far off look in her eyes. She wasn’t paying attention, she hadn’t been paying attention for a number hours, not since… not since the incident.

***

It had occurred earlier that day, in the lab. Jemma had been there with Fitz, trying to recover from whatever the Monolith had done to her. It was supposed to be clear of Inhumans, it was only supposed to be the two of them. That’s what the Monolith had done, changed in such a way that in the presence of Inhumans that something in her just snapped. Something animalistic, something alien, something feral took over and all that she knew was that she had to hurt them. Had to get rid of them. That they were dangerous and had to be eliminated. It had happened a number of times before, once they had gotten her free. And in the weeks that followed when she was kept in quarantine. It had taken a lot of persuading and work on his part to get her out of there, both quarantine and the Monolith. Coulson had been reluctant to let her roam freely around the base, when there had been so many new Inhumans walking around the base. He was scared that something was going to happen, and now it had. An Inhuman had wandered into the lab, he was new. Fitz didn’t even know his name. And it had happened quickly. Oh how it had happened ever so quickly. Something had snapped inside of her, and she had her hand around his throat before Fitz could do anything to stop her. And then her hand was a bloodied mess, and she was hysterical. Hunter had rushed into the lab on hearing her screams, and found Fitz trying to calm her down, Jemma rocking back and forth in the corner of the lab. And the Inhuman… dead, a pool of blood forming around him. Fitz looked up once he realised that Hunter was there, and there was a pleading in his eyes. Hunter swallowed hard and nodded, silently understanding what Fitz was asking. He was asking him for help. Asking him to keep this quiet for as long as he could. But that didn’t happen. The rest of the team where in the lab not long after Hunter, and looks of horror that were on their face soon turned to those of fear and disgust once they saw Jemma. It was at this point that Fitz turned his attention back to Jemma, still rocking back and forth, tears streaming down her face. It was those next number of hours that Fitz had spent trying to calm her down and persuade everyone that she wasn’t dangerous, that it was that thing, whatever it was that had possessed her within the Monolith that had done this. The team, however, were not convinced and Fitz had simply gave them a snarl, and took Jemma in his arms, taking her some place she knew that was safe. Away from everything so that she could calm down. He had taken her to his room.

***

When he returned from empting the bowl of water, now crimson, into the sink in his en-suite, Jemma still had a far off look in her eyes. She was reliving the horror again and again and again. She couldn’t stop. She _wouldn’t_ stop. No matter what he said, no matter what he would say, she would not believe him that it wasn’t her fault. She would carry that guilt. Like she always did. She would carry that guilt. And Fitz wondered how someone so small could carry such a weight without it crushing them.

“Jemma,” he said softly, his voice causing her eyes to meet his. “Want to go to bed?” He didn’t know what time it was, and if he was going to be completely honest, he didn’t care. After the day that the two of them had, an early night was possible. She gave a shrug and he knelt down in front of her, taking her wrists ever so gently in his hand. He rubbed circles with his thumbs, something that always reassured her when she was upset, when she was stressed. “Come on,” he whispered, his eyes lighting up and Jemma wanted to. She really wanted to. That’s how she had been spending the last few weeks sleeping. But she didn’t deserve this. Not tonight. Not after what had happened, what _she_ had did earlier.

She eventually stood up, not for her sake but for his sake. There was something reassuring, something pleasant about watching Fitz and how his emotions changed. How she made him happy, how doing something simple as this could mean the world to him. So that’s why she did it, curled up in the bed next to him, buried beneath a mound of pillows and blankets, her head resting upon his chest. They lay there for hours, Fitz allowing his fingers to play with her hair and murmur soft reassurances into her ears. When she had thought he was asleep she finally let the tears fall again, staining his shirt. She tired her hardest to keep her sobs quiet. She couldn’t wake him. To put him through yet another sleepless night. He was too good for her, far too good for her. She didn’t know what she had even did that meant that she deserved him, but whatever it had been, she had certainly destroyed that, counteracted that. Not with just today’s events but from the past number of years, ever since she had thrown herself from the plane. She had put him throw hell again and again, hurt him again and again. She was toxic, a danger to him and yet he still stayed. These thoughts rattled around in her mind as a sob escaped her, deep and full of pain.

“Jems,” his voice came. She must have woken him up. “It’s okay, it’s going to be okay.” He sat up pulling her into a hug, holding her close. And even though every instinct, everything that it was that she was was screaming at her not to, she wrapped her arms around him, clinging onto him and allowed herself to sob freely.

***

She didn’t remember falling asleep, but she must have, at some point. When the world started to become clear she realised that she was alone. Fitz wasn’t there. He wasn’t with her. As much as she berated herself for relying on him, she realised that deep down, she did need him. He, in a sense, grounded her. Brought her back to earth. Made her feel safe, protected, _loved_. He made her feel loved, human even, in a time when no one else did. When everyone else treated her like an outcast, like she was different. Like she was dangerous. Which, she supposed, she was. She was so extremely dangerous if the wrong people were around. She couldn’t control this thing that had possessed her, that had taken over her every thought when Inhumans were around.

Sitting up in the bed, she wrapped one of the many blankets around herself, taking in his bunk. It was still the same as it had been before she was taken, and it was still the same as it had been last week. It hadn’t changed. _He_ hadn’t changed, and that was something, wasn’t it? It had to mean something.  Something concrete. Something where she could rebuild her live. Fitz hadn’t changed, yes he may have been changed, but _he_ himself hadn’t really changed. He was still the same person she had fallen in love with all those years ago.

His voice, loud and angry, cut through her voice. As did a number of others; Coulson, May, Bobbi. They were shouting at him. _Her_ Fitz. Shouting about her… They were arguing about her. Coulson was angry, furious even at the loss of that agent… The one that she had killed, murdered in nothing but a dislike over the different, something alien…

 _Daisy…_ when she had first gained her powers, fuelled by a rage with a hated of everything alien, she had wanted to get rid of powers, the thing that was what made Daisy Daisy.

And all because of Trip. His death. His death had turned her into something that feared everything different, a shell of a person that wanted to eradicate everything that was different, everything that was different.

Jemma shuddered at that thought. What had happened to the young woman, powered by a desire to see the world, to change it, to make it a better place? To discover what there was to be discovered?

HYDRA. HYDRA had happened. HYDRA and Ward. When he had thrown them to the ocean, he had killed that version of herself, left her to die under all of that water. And the Jemma that had been born down there, one that was darker, disconnected from the world. One that was determined to do whatever it took to protect the ones that she loved, even if it meant hurting them.

Was that why the Monolith had taken her? Moulded her to its own design, its own desire? Because she was like that? Because she hated anything alien? Anything dangerous? She had hated the Inhumans to begin with?

The thoughts raced around her mind, causing her mind to ache. There was just so much, too much, to think about and the world seemed to spin, making her feel ill. She tried to get a breath in but found that she couldn’t. Not matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t breathe. The harder that she tried, the harder that she found it. And that caused panic and fear to set in. She was back in the Monolith, back in the Med Pod, falling out of the sky, unable to breath, losing him. Again and again. The more that she panicked, the tighter that it was her chest seemed to constrict.

Tears blotted her vision. She was going to die her, alone. Without Fitz. Without her ever seeing Fitz again. The gasps began more and more, and they were the only thing that she could focus on was the rattling sound coming from her chest.

“Jemma!”

“Jemma!”

“Jemma!”

It was him, calling to her. Trying to help her find her way out of this, whatever this was. _A panic attack_ , a voice said, somewhere far in the back of her mind. The voice of reasoning. “Jems, in through the nose, out through the mouth.” Fitz. Again. He demonstrated, showing the way. And after a couple of breaths, she joined him, following him and then fell in sync with him.

Once her breathing had settled back in to normalcy he gently wiped away her tears and gave him a smile, to show him that she was okay.

“You okay?” he asked, but not about this. About yesterday, last night.

She shrugged. She wasn’t sure if she was okay. If she ever was going to be okay regarding yesterday. Yes, she might possibly be able to move on. But the guilt would always be there, lingering at the very edges of her mind. His fingers graced their way across her cheek again. She brought up her hand herself, and wiped at her eyes. She hadn’t realised that she had started crying. Again.

Her attention momentarily left him, turning now to the door, at the three senior agents standing there. Each of them worse a different expression; Bobbi’s face was a mixture of both fear and pity for the younger agent; May had one of concern though she was trying not to show it, like she so often did and Coulson had one of concealed anger. He was trying hard to hide it, and it was hidden, but not well enough. He was getting concerned about her know. About just how dangerous she was. She knew that it surprised him. No one would have ever expected that _she_ could become this, something so dangerous and so terrifying. Jemma could tell that he wanted her away from here, locked up. Somewhere away from all of these Inhumans, all of these people who were in so much danger. Somewhere away from Daisy. He tried to hide it, everyone could tell that he had a soft spot for her, treated her like the daughter that he never had.

“No,” Fitz said, continuing the argument from earlier. “You can’t. Its’s...” he had no words, was at a loss.

Bobbi gave a sigh, she didn’t seem to agree with what Coulson wanted either it seemed but it also looked like she knew that this was what had to be done. “None of us want this, but it’s for the best. It’s the safest thing. For us and for her.”

Fitz shook his head. “When has she hurt you? When has she ever hurt you?”

A shake of the head from Bobbi before May interrupted. “Fitz, it’s for the best. We don’t know what could happen. We can’t risk anything else, not after…”

“She’s here,” Fitz interrupted, growing angrier each second but the conversation was now lost to her. She was focusing on his voice, there was something about it when he got angry, something that she couldn’t quite put her finger on.

“Fitz,” she said, finally finding her voice. He turned to look at her, and she momentarily lost herself in those eyes so blue. “Please, it’s safest. I don’t want to hurt.”

He shook his head. “No, you could never hurt me.”

“You don’t know that.”

“There’s nothing that we know for certain.”

It was her turn to shake her head. He looked at her with confusion. “There’s one thing that I know for certain.”

“What?”

“That I love you,” she whispered before taking his cheek in her hand, allowing her fingers to caress it, before leaning in and allowing her lips to meet his.

***

Later that day, she was sat in the back of one of the SUVs, her fingers intertwined with his. He gently placed a kiss to the crown of her head, whispered that everything would be okay when the front door of the car opened and slammed shut.

“Ready?” Hunter asked, turning himself around in the seat. They both nodded, her head instinctively finding his shoulder. Like it was home, and she supposed that it was home. No matter where she was in the world, as long as she was with him, she was home.

“Thanks Hunter,” Fitz said as Hunter started the car and began to pull out of the base. Hunter shrugged as though it were nothing.

“I couldn’t let them lock her up,” Hunter said, catching Jemma’s eyes in the mirror and she smiled up at him, thankful as well. She was going to agree with whatever Coulson had planned but Fitz had told her that she shouldn’t. That she shouldn’t let her lock her up, cage her like some wild beast. She had tried to argue that she was but he had disagreed, and before she could protest, told her to meet him in the garage at seven with everything she had wanted to bring with her. “I know me and Bobs always agree with one another,” Hunter continued and Fitz laughed at this.

“Do you ever?”

“It’s not my fault,” Hunter began but trailed of, thinking of his ex-wife, losing himself in those thoughts.

They drove in silence for a while, Jemma thinking of everything that had happened recently, about how they had both been through hell, that they were both changed, but they _weren’t_ broken, not like everyone else seemed to think. Just changed but they were still themselves. They would always been Fitzsimmons and maybe they weren’t the Fitzsimmons that everyone once knew, everyone once loved but maybe they could find that side of themselves again. But even if they didn’t, they could still love, they were still human.

“Fitz?”

“Hmmm?”

“Where are we going?”

“Perthshire.”

**Author's Note:**

> I really liked the idea of Jemma being possessed by the Monolith to hunt Inhumans and everyone turning against her except Fitz and so, this was born... And Hunter helping them at the end is because I just love my Brot3 (the Br can also stand for British in this situation which I love).  
> Thanks so much for reading and I hope that you enjoyed this. Marvel owns all and the title is from Just Give Me A Reason.


End file.
